Letting Go
by damnitjane
Summary: Jane opens up about his ring, and does something about it. For Mammab72's challenge.


**LETTING GO**

For Mammab72's Ring/Vest Challenge.

He tugged at her hand as they waded through the neatly trimmed grass. The slight breeze surrounding them did little to cool the sweat forming on his face. He felt the slight squeeze of her fingers on his, and his nervousness diminished, but did not completely dissolve.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Lisbon asked, turning her head to gaze at him as they walked.

He turned to her and smiled. His smile was not fake; it was genuine and easy. He was sure. He had been sure for a long time, he just could never admit it to himself. This was the day. He had chosen it for a reason, one that meant an ending and a beginning. He was sad, but also hopeful.

"Yes," he told her, his gaze falling back in front of them to the tombstones they soon left them behind. "I think it's time, Teresa."

He rubbed her palm with his thumb pad, and came to a stop in front of the two headstones, now dirty and caked with pollen from the trees and grass. It had been a long time since he was here. He supposed the memories were not here, but in his heart. He bent down and pulled a stray vine from Charlotte's, his hands lingering on the stone.

"Jane," Lisbon cooed softly, bending down beside him. "Jane, if you don't want to do this, I understand," she told him, as she brought a hand up to stroke the week's worth of stubble on his cheek. "I don't need this."

"I do," Jane told her, his hand covering hers, keeping her hand against his face. "I have to let go."

Lisbon nodded her head in understanding. She didn't need him to do this, but he seemed at peace with what he was about to do … a turning point. She watched as he took his hand away from hers and reached down to remove the ring from his finger.

"I've spent a long time holding onto this, thinking it brought me closer to them," he told Lisbon, twirling the ring in-between his fingers. "But you made me realize that the love and memories I hold are in my heart and not in a piece of metal."

He was looking at her now, unwilling to falter; gathering unwavering courage. He was looking at the reason for new happiness, and he knew he had no right to hold onto something that only made him sad and nostalgic when he was trying to move on and love the woman who helped him give them peace.

"I don't know if you know this," Jane told her, his face falling to the band in his hand, "but I have never taken this off with the intention of keeping it off. I always took it off knowing I'd put it right back on."

"I didn't know that," Lisbon told him, her voice soft. Tears were starting to sting the back of her eyes, and she could see that Jane, too, was emotional.

"That is until now."

Jane turned to the two gravestones, side-by-side, aged with time, and exhaled deeply. It was now or never. Jane reached into his jacket pocket and extracted a small army knife, choosing the sharp screwdriver attachment.

"Take it," he told Lisbon, handing the ring over to her, placing it in her hand and closing her fingers over it.

She watched as Jane dug a small hole between Charlotte and Angela's graves, pushing the dirt extracted into a pile. She watched as he sat back on his heels and put a dirty hand through his curls. Turning back to her, she tried to give back the ring, but he shook his head.

"I can't," he told. "Please…"

Lisbon looked at him and then at the hole. She knew what he wanted her to do. Slowly, she placed the ring in the hole and watched as Jane packed the loose dirt around the ring, patting it down solid.

"I've decided to give it back to you guys," he told them, his voice cracking. "I don't need it to know you're with me. I've found peace and happiness, and I know you would be happy with everything."

Lisbon was trying to contain the overflow of tears trying to escape her eyes, but she couldn't. She put a hand on Jane's back and rubbed small circles into the material in a soothing gesture.

"It bonds us together," he told the headstones. "And I think you guys deserve it more."

"Jane," Lisbon whispered through a thick voice.

"This is my happiness," he turned to Lisbon, taking her chin in his hand and pulling her gaze to his. "I wanted to share this with you."

He kissed Lisbon lightly on the lips and turned to look at the headstones and ring. He knew they would be okay with his choice. He was sure the would love Lisbon just as much as he did. The breeze stopped for just a moment, and Jane could have sworn he smelled lavender and sandalwood. He thought it was a sign that they had waited for him … waited for this.

He stood, bringing Lisbon up with him. He reached to wipe the tears from her face and kiss her forehead. Everything was going to be fine. He had to do this. He had to wait until pure happiness was here with them, bringing it full circle. He had brought Lisbon because he felt it was like letting go of his past, but introducing them to his future. The ring, a subtle reminder of his past, was something he had to bury and move on. He loved Lisbon so much, and he had planned to replace the ring with the matching one he had in his jacket pocket now.

They walked back among the stones to the car, Jane stopping to glance back one more time at his past, before getting in with his future and driving away.


End file.
